This is an informal survey based on my limited view as a practicing family attorney... but I do believe that people in their 20s and 30s are entering prenuptial agreements more than their predecessors (at least in Seattle). They are generations that grew up with prevalent divorce. People in their 40s and above had parents willing to stay married for the kids.
These younger folks are savvier (and possibly more scared). They've seen more horror divorce stories. They've heard about prenups; they've heard the concept that you need to protect yourself; and they are less certain the marriage will last a life time. This mirrors the concept Oprah promoted a few years ago about "starter marriages." With reduced stigma around divorce, couples may be willing to take the marital plunge with less commitment and certainty... hence the need for a prenuptial.
If you don't know how your fiance will handle the credit card; or how that business venture is going to turn out; or, if you come into marriage with significant assets, or plan to inherit them, these are all good reasons to consider getting a prenuptial agreement. People with children from a prior marriage are also prime candidates for a prenuptial agreement.
The funny thing is that by drafting a prenuptial agreement you are often showing a lack of confidence in the legal system and family laws. You are possibly agreeing to terms that contravene the standard practices in the state. Often these agreements are done so as to protect the wealthier or more financially responsible spouse. It's as if couples are saying, "I don't want to completely merge as a financial team with you. I'd rather travel life as a more financially independent entity."
My guess is that with the threat of divorce looming so large in the future, people are giving a more qualified "I do." On the flip side, the task of entering a prenuptial agreement can often bring core issues to the surface. "What is appropriate credit card usage? Do you work as hard as I think you should work? How much is a reasonable amount to spend on a treat? Do you consider my on-line shopping to border on addiction? What is fair game to spend on a purchase without telling me? Do you believe in raiding the 401K plan? What is the minimum we will keep in the check book? Is it OK to quit a job without a new job lined up? What if I want to go back to school? Will you support me during a career transition? Do we want to be poor and in love or rich and successful? " This list goes on.
As much as couples may hate to start the tender conversation about money. Going to a prenuptial attorney for an agreement can being the talk. In the process of coming to agreements for the prenuptial document, you will be coming to agreements that will smooth the road of your relationship. In this way, prenuptial agreements can be very healthy and very marriage-enhancing. Seen from this angle, the younger generation is doing marriage smarter: their increasing the chance that $2,000 15 page document never sees the light of day after it's tucked away.
Aha. I just did a quick web search to check out my hunch that prenuptial agreements are up. DivorceNet.com just published a blog entry reporting that in a "poll by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyer (AAML)
members, 49% of the divorce attorneys cited an increase in postnuptial
agreements during the past five years." The article notes that also rising in popularity are postnuptial agreements after the couple has been married. I would add that also up is the "living together contract" or "cohabitation agreement." This provides safety and stability when doing something irrational like moving in together after knowing someone eight weeks.
If you are in the market for a prenuptial agreement, consider my favorite clause: "If we break up or divorce, we agree to use collaborative law, mediation or other amicable processes to resolve our conflict, unless their are emergency or safety issues."
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