Lawlady's Divorce and Relationship Blog

Divorce TeleClass

Here is a class being offered by others.

Divorce is Hell: Is It True?

 

 

People should keep their promises… He lied to me… She’s a homewrecker… Divorce traumatizes children… I feel so guilty… Lawyers are a bunch of sharks… I need more money… I need a new relationship to be happy… I’ll never love anyone again…

 

Are you contemplating divorce? Going through it? Has a past experience of divorce left you bitter and disappointed? If so, join Grace Bell and Charlotte Price, facilitators of The Work of Byron Katie, for this 8-week teleclass. We’ll be using The Work to explore the above thoughts and more, navigating the chaotic waters of divorce to greater peace, love and truth. (To learn about The Work, please visit www.thework.it.)

 

Both Grace and Charlotte have used The Work extensively to make sense of their divorces and can tell you, it works. 

  

 

For those of you thinking, “But my ex isn't willing to work, let alone Work, on things,” we remind you that, just as “It only takes one to have a happy marriage” (BK), it only takes one to have a happy divorce. Your answers lie within you, as does your peace. You do your Work, and the rest will fall into place.

 

On the other hand, if you're worried that too much peace might mean getting taken to the cleaners, consider this: “You need your stressful thinking to get your needs met: is it true?”

 

In this class, you’ll have the opportunity to:

· Use The Work of Byron Katie to explore your stressful thoughts about divorce, and

begin to experience life without them

· Meet others going through your same experience

· Facilitate each other regularly between classes

· Post your frustrations and successes on our e-bulletin board, and ask for and receive

feedback, from us and each other

 

Ordinarily, the class fee is $220 (USD), but for an additional $75, you'll receive two hour-long facilitations, one with Grace and one with me, during the course of the eight weeks. That’s less than half of what those sessions would normally cost.

 

Day: Wednesday Dates: 28 February-25 April (no class 11 April) Time:

9:15-10:45 AM

Pacific;

6:15-7:45 PM

Western European Fee: $220 (regular class) / $295 (regular class + 2 private 1-hour facilitations)

 

For more information, visit: www.thework.it. Or email us your questions: [email protected], [email protected].
 

 

 

Collaborative Law Training

This Friday at 4:30 I am presenting at the 13th Annual ADR conference:  Creative Conflict Management.  My presentation is titled:  Litigator to Collaborator, Changing from the Inside Out.  If you are in the Seattle area and interested in mediation and transforming your practice, you might enjoy the two day conference. 

I've been thinking about my presentation.  In case you can't make it, here is what I will be highlighting:

1)  Make no assumptions about what the other collaborative law attorney is thinking.  Check out and clarify the hidden assumptions.  Do you both agree to withhold information about the law until the clients have had a chance to air their grievances and start investigating the facts?  Or are you going to coach your client early in the case as to how the law will apply?  Imagine the conflicts that could arise if one client feels empowered and knowledgeable about the law while the other person feels powerless and misinformed, having been told by his or her attorney that there isn't any need to "know the law." 

What other situations could breed conflict if the lawyers operate from two different perspectives?   What about a commitment for both attorneys to seek coaching if they can't agree or work together well?  We have an agreement to transparency in collaborative law; does this mean that you have to volunteer that your client will begin working hard to get a raise right after the divorce?   Is it OK to disclose this type of information only if asked?

2)  Bad, annoying habits make for bad collaborative lawyers.  Personality traits that irritate and distance people from you in your personal relationships will have the same effect, most likely, in your collaborative career.  Figure out what these are.  Change.  Or at least learn how to reign yourself in a bit.  Examples:  talking excessively or having to be the expert.  Learn to let go and let someone else be smarter or more articulate sometimes. 

3)  As the mother of collaborative law says, "what makes me a better person, also makes me a better collaborative lawyer."  We aren't going to shift into a new language overnight.  Collaborative law often occurs during tense sessions with emotional clients.   People are uptight.  It's hard to practice new language skills in those situations.   It's easier if you've gradually been adding new vocabulary and phrases slowly during less stressful times.  Only the phrases you've added to long term memory are going to be the ones that come to mind when you start sweating it out in a heated 4-way meeting.  Cultivate an appreciation for conciliatory language.  Here are some of my favorites:  So what I hear you saying is... I think we have an agreement on... I want to compliment both of you on well you were able to work through... Do you see where you are in agreement about...  I understand you are angry about XYZ, can you tell us where things have worked successfully this past week... You say ABC, but I'm noticing DEF, can you explain this difference?

If you are interested in seeing my presentation, call me at 206/932-9699 and I'll see if I can get you into my session.  Otherwise, you can sign up for the whole two-day event.  The conference website is at www.mediate.com/nwadr.  It starts this Friday (April 29) at 1:00.