Lawlady's Divorce and Relationship Blog

A Critic Speaks Out Against Collaborative Law

A  reader posted a comment about her dissatisfaction about collaborative law and Pauline Tesler, the mother of the collaborative law movement.  Many others would disagree with the reader's comment (See comment to my April 3 blog entry Where to Go for the Latest on Collaborative Law).  If you are interested  her website is at Narcissistic Abuse.

I've been sitting here at the computer trying to think up a response to the reader.  I'm at a loss for how to respond.  The reader seems strong in her opinion against Tesler.  Tesler has worked hard to train litigators how to de-claw themselves and stop doing damage to families.  But yet, the reader is pointing to legitimate gripes about collaborative process that practitioners need to be aware of to avoid having similar unhappy clients. 

Check out the website and make your own choice/opinion.

Thank you reader for sharing.  (I still think collaborative law is best for most situations). 

Where to Go for the Latest on Collaborative Law

If you follow collaborative law professionally, you will likely want to add Pauline Tesler's Blog to your reading list.  She's the mother of the movement and began a blog in January.  Generally, she is very current on the latest news and court matters concerning collaborative law.   

Taking Collaborative Law to Underserved Groups

The international collaborative law group, Collaborative Practice  (also known as the IACP), is calling for proposals to present at the October 2007 IACP annual conference.  The cut off is March 30th, in just a few days.  This year's theme is expanding the practice globally and into diverse populations.  In support of this year's theme, the group is also offering grants to collaborative groups "to expand awareness and availability of Collaborative Practice to underserved communities," according to its website. 

If you are in the collaborative community looking for a passionate cause to get involved with consider bringing this model to an underserved community.  You can download the mini-application off the first page of the IACP website. 

Kithe: Collaborative Divorce in Seattle and Bellevue

Lawlady Inc. is a divorce law firm in Seattle.  Kithe Collaborative Divorce is the collaborative divorce practice group that we belong to.   The two attorney members of Lawlady Inc are also members of  Kithe.   The difference between a law firm and a collaborative divorce practice group is that a law firm is comprised of attorneys and the staff supporting the attorneys.  Lawyers are not allowed to share profits with non-lawyers and it has been customary in our industry that we can't be business partners with non-lawyers. Thus, in order for lawyers to provide other non-legal services to clients, we typically d0 this through associations with allied professionals who are independent from the law firm. 

A collaborative divorce practice group is a place where the allied independent professionals come together with divorce attorneys to get to know one another, discuss issues that arise in handling collaborative divorce cases, develop a protocol as to how we do collaborative cases, and to share a joint marketing to the community.  In my particular practice group, Kithe Collaborative Divorce or Seattle and Bellevue, we also consider ourselves friends and enjoy challenging each other to provide better and better customer service to our clients.   

Kithe is featured in the March 07 issue of Seattle Metropolitan Magazine.  Check out page 27.  We're described as

a nuptial-negation squad that's cutting a new, more peaceful path towards dissolution..  After you ex-love birds blow off steam in a talk therapy session, the pros head up a number-crunching confab that results in amicably rearranged bank accounts and a family matters brainstorm that puts Junior's needs first.. 

The magazine notes that membership in the national organization International Academy of Collaborative Professionals has doubled every year since 1999.   Collaborative law, per the article, is shifting the $26 billion-a-year divorce industry. 

 

Criticism of Collaborative Divorce

If you want to read a good criticism of collaborative law check out Linda Roberson's article. I disagree, but her article aimed at promoting cooperative law over collaborative law is well written and raises points to consider in determining which method is right for you. 

Disney Divorce: Collaborative Law Hits the Big Time

The Associated Press reports that Roy Disney, who recently filed for divorce after 52-years of marriage, plans to divorce in the collaborative law style.  See the Mercury News for the article.
Roy Disney is the nephew of founder of Disneyland and is a major shareholder of the company.

If Collaborative Law is the right choice for this person, does that give you confidence it's the right choice for you?
 

Divorce Dollar Values

A reporter called me today to interview me about collaborative practice.  "Is it necessary?  Can't you just use the forms off the internet?"

Great question. 

Divorce attorneys would be out of business if every family entered the divorce process with such courtesy and cooperativeness.  But many divorces occur right as the man and woman are at very bitter, angry, untrustworthy, uncertain, fearful, resentful, revengeful, hateful, insecure, (fill in the blank) times in life.  Sometimes people can't get out of the relationship without lots of assistance.  Think of collaborative law in those situations as the rescue squad that arrives to help you get out of the car-wreck of your marriage.  As with a 9-1-1 intervention, it may take many different professionals with many different tools to perform a perfect response.  Jaws-of-Life.  A medic.  Someone with a blanket, and of course someone to fill in the forms and document the damage. 

The team approach  in CL provides couples with the maximum benefit for their divorce dollars.  Yes, you need to budget for divorce.  If you are lucky, you pay a filing fee and do the paperwork for free off the internet.  Maybe you incur the cost of a flat fee service for $2,000.  But for many families, whether you choose mediation, collaboration or court-intervention, you may pay  over $15,000 to divorce.  In unlucky situations, you could be paying $50,000 to $100,000 to retrack your " I do." 

With collaborative practice your divorce dollars might be spent as follows:

        1.  $5,000 to two divorce attorneys for $10,000 total.   Benefits are peace of mind, peaceful process, good paperwork and legal advice.

        2.  $2,500 for a divorce financial plan that let's you know you will both be OK and maximizes your chance of discovering hidden wealth or value.  A tax savings, a debt repayment plan the reduces interest payments, a college pre-payment option you didn't know existed, a clever way to extract 401K benefits to get cash, a property division that allows each of you to live just the way you want to live.

        3.  Vocational specialist for $2,000 to get that lazy$#!@$ spouse back to work, despite the depression and the comfy couch.   

        4.  A child advocate to discover what those hard-to-read teens really want in the parenting arrangements.  $1,500.

        5.  And don't forget, 6 to 8 sessions at $150 an hour with a divorce counselor to take the sting out of the resentment, hurt, or other emotion that left unchecked could results in hours of extra attorney time spent putting out fires.  Fires get flamed in divorce from minor incidents like missed pick-up times with the kids or a late mortgage payment.  These are the annoying behaviors that send litigating couples back to the court-room for emergency court orders.

    $17,000 total.  That's a lot of benefit for your divorce dollars. 

    Compare these figures to a litigation file.  $2,000 for the first party to hire an attorney and file for a temporary motion.  $1,500 for the other to respond.  $1000 for the lawyers to request documents.  $1,000 each to review the responses.  $4,000 for two experts to tell one another how wrong the other expert is about the other's  financial evaluation.  $3,000 in letters between the lawyers.  It might be four or five months into the case with no settlement offers having been exchanged.  Possibly offers won't occur until  mediation ($2,000 each side to prepare) which means  five hours   a combined hourly rate of $700, for a whopping $3,500 morning. And you still might not be settled.   All for roughly the same price as the collaborative case. 

Does it seem you get more value for divorce dollars spent with collaborative law? 

    

   

Collaborative Law and the Litigator's High

Conflict causes an adrenaline rush.  I'm sure there are people who get hooked on the rush.  Particularly litigating attorneys.

I know many attorneys who say they like going to court.  Many get a high caused from the intense focus needed to  prepare and argue  to win.   Walking out of the courthouse after a successful morning at court, gives a feeling of having  been somewhere and done something.  From my personal experience, it's a type of satisfaction that makes me want to go order a steak.  Unless you lose and you believe you should have prepared better.  Then you just feel sick and don't want to eat.

My question for the legal profession is:  Are were serving our client's best interest if we are litigating possibly for reasons having to do were our own personal sense of thrill?  If the clients are fully informed would they choose to go forward with a court action? 

Yesterday, I had the refreshing experience of talking with a woman who was shopping attorneys and had been given quite realistic figures about the costs to litigate her family matter. She was quoted  in the range of $20,000 to $40,000 per side.  That's $60,000 to $80,000 to divorce a couple of upper-moderate means with significant conflict.  These realistic figures are helping her put collaborative law into perspective. 

Collaborative law is a process whereby the parties agree not to go to court or threaten to do so.  Then, the focus is on options that will facilitate the case settle which often includes sharing joint experts to provide relevant expertise and emotional support.  A great process because most of the divorce dollars are spent moving the case forward and preparing for the future of each party.

Probably the biggest difference between collaborative law and litigation is the treatment of stress and the management of conflict. In collaborative cases, the focus is on keeping the stress level down, understanding that people don't think as well when their emotions flared up.  In court-action, the opposite is the case.  The system provokes a party's emotions. In fact, it's tendency to rile people up is exactly the electric charge that ignites the chronic litigator's passion.

Hence the question,  who is litigation really best for?

Latest News

I apologize for being away so long.  It's been a busy summer.

I have good news to report however. I'm being interviewed by Seattle Times tonight on collaborative law.  I'll tell you how it goes!

Look forward to hearing from me soon.  I've missed you. 

Shameless Self-Promotion of Collaborative Divorce

I'm featured on the front cover of this week's North Seattle Herald-Outlook  about Nice Divorce.
My client had a break today as I was typing documents for him. He pulled out some reading material and there I was on the front of his paper.  I knew they  were doing a story but I didn't know it was out already.  My first thought was:  I look old; when did those wrinkles happen? 

It reminds me of Oprah at the Emmies during her fat days.  There she was receiving an achievement honor and she was concerned about her butt size for the cameras.  There I am with the honor of promoting my favorite form of law (collaborative law) and I'm thinking When did I start showing my father's big nose.  My jacket looks good though!

The article, cleverly written by Bridget Borud, focuses on collaborative divorce which is a team-approach, no-court way to divorce. It's an excellent method for couples who no longer tolerate each other well.  Although it's called collaborative, you don't have to be friendly with each other to make it work. That's the beauty of the process.  It succeeds even if communication is at a stand still.  I think that's why it's grown so popular and can now be found in 37 states, according to Don Desonier of Desonier Mediation Services. 

If you are interested in being highlighted in the North Seattle Herald-Outlook, a community newspaper for the North Seattle neighborhoods like Lake City Way, Roosevelt, and North Gate, I suggest you contact writer Bridget Borud for story leads.

Here is the picture in question taken by the very charming Bradley Enghaus.