Blogger Integrity: Taking a Break Sometimes is Best

I have struggled over the past year about blogging verses not blogging, about closing down my Lawlady site, about continuing to do divorce work.  In the end, I let inertia guide the way.  I took a year's sabbatical  from divorce work and when my web hosting service bill came due, I just sort of didn't pay it.  They in turn shut off the Lawlady.com account. I didn't really care. I was off traveling the world.  There was never a day I woke up and said, "hey, I want to jump all over the website and revamp it."

I cannot over stress the theraputic joy of taking a year off and going fallow.  With land, we know that it is beneficial to give the soil a rest sometimes and allow mother nature to regenerative the juice and nutrient value of the land.  The same is true for humans. I think it is a crime to make people wait a life time until age 65 to enjoy some down time and refresh.  In fact, I believe that times of unemployment are really healthy for a society, particularly since we do not, in general, get or take much vacation time during a year. 

Over the past few months, I've been wrestling with the subject what do I do with the Lawlady brand?  Do I keep blogging?  Do I create the divorce products I've had on my to-do list for a long time?  I get a whopping 18 blog visitors a day on the existing posts I've created.  I wish I could wave a magic fairy wand and find answers. 

But as with much of life, it's more an inch worm approach towards moving forward. 

But one critical, critical piece of information exists for me:  the idea that people with public presence should not hog the limelight when they don't have anything useful to say.  Nothing is more annoying than when a blogger, person of influence, or otherwise highly visible person  maintains their public position when the well has dried up.  We should all be courteous about stepping aside when we no longer are serving the voice muse.  I prefer the actions of actors such as Demi Moore who gracefully fade out of the limelight while they pursue other interests.  It is not the kiss of death to take some personal time, regroup, restrategize and come back out when the timing is right. 

We should all be conscientious of the public's limited attention spans and allow others to have a stronger voice when... um, quite frankly, we have nothing fresh to say and no emotional juice with which to say it. 

Having said all this, I am proud to report, that after a 16 month absence, I'm feeling fondness and enthusiasm to jump back on the divorce band wagon, albeit in a slightly different version. 

I'm moving to Madison Wisconsin on the odd advice of an astrologer who says in Seattle, I will always be alone, alone, alone.  In Madison he promises riches and popularity.  Given that I failed to follow the last astrologers advice to avoid the stock market and instead jumped in 30 days before the big crash and netted myself a healthy  $30,000 loss, I didn't have the heart to write this new astrologer's advice off as quackery.  My faith in astrology was finally put to the ultimate test. So June 15th, I head out to Madison for an arrival June 20th. 

In the interim, I am back, blogging and happy to be at your service. Other Lawlady amenties will be resuming on line as the months unfold.   

I hope my readership will come back and appreciate that I didn't bug you with non-sense during my personal sabbatical year.  It feels good to be reconnecting to Typepad. It looks more like Wordpress after my time lapse.   

I'll be speaking to you more as the days unfold.  And maybe I'll be working with you in Madison or over the phone someday. 

Sincerely,

Stefani

 

 

 

Comments

["The Reluctant Entomologist"]

Dear Lawlady,

I just stumbled on your website and am glad to see that you've decided to keep blogging! I've been trying, over the past year, to find blogs like this that include not only useful information but also some self-reflection and just plain old sense of humor, so this is a rare find; thank you.

[Marti]

I too have just stumbled upon your blog. Do you hire out for private assistance or have compadres in your field who do? I'd love the contact list (also good for networking). Your blog serves as a standout for both the practical and emotional side of an aspect of life that affects half the population, and more are needed! Keep up the great posts please!

[Patrick Dwyer]

Stefani - great to find you online (btw, your old 'lawlady' site appears to be infested with a nasty trojan virus!)again!
Congrats on move to Madison. We think of you here, but are glad you make a happy move! Write us back when you have a chance? Do you have a new email or facebook acct?
Patrick Dwyer
[email protected]

[Ed Sherman the divorce attorney]

I can really relate to your need to take a break from divorce work. Back in the 60's I was working as Senior Attorney for a California legal aid program, and became disillusioned with how poorly the legal system served the public.

I did the same thing you did--I left my job and took some time off. In my case, I used the time to think about how I could more effectively use my legal training. What a difference that made in my life!

I ended up deciding to show people how they could take their legal matters into their own hands, and started with divorce, since it can be a fairly simple procedure in uncontested cases.

I put up some flyers at the co-op in Berkeley, CA, and started teaching do-your-own divorce workshops. People were thrilled, and it was going well, but I realized I wasn't really helping that many people. So I put my information into book form and founded Nolo Press to publish the first edition of "How to Do Your Own Divorce in California."

Little did I know at the time that this would end up starting the entire self-help law movement! And 40 years later, I'm still at it, helping people get divorced at my website: nolodivorce.com.

So I can definitely attest to the value that can come from taking some time off to re-evaluate your life. Best of luck to you in your new-found passion helping people with divorce.

[Bogin]

Absolutely correct on the part about the purpose of the blog. It isn't to boost your ego or flaunt your milestones and achievements. It is to effectively share your knowledge in a communicative way, and something that you have that proclivity towards, such as a keen and insightful background in divorce.

[oliver]

glad you back :) hope you enjoyed the break, and I agree, sometimes you just need to put something down and come back with a fresh set of eyes

[Uncontested Oklahoma Divorce]

Don't give up blogging LawLady... you have several people (including myself)... who follow your blog.

Have you considered allowing others to guest post on your blog... that way it relieves some of the stress off of you?

-Daniel

[Will Beaumont (metairie divorce lawyer)]

My opinion on this is that there is such a need for information with people going through a family law break up that it is good to be able to provide such a service.

[George]

Divorce law can be challenging at times, but glad to see you are doing something that you enjoy.

[Private investigator Austin Texas]

Thanks for the inspiration - I find it difficult just to take a week off. Nobody will argue that family law is not stressful. If you don't take of yourself then who will. Hopefully, you will find blogging as more leisure than work. Good article!

[Charles O]

Hello,

Recently i have heard about such companies as http://www.fairwaydivorce.com. I am in the middle of a horrible divorce, and really do not want to lose everything i have worked so hard for.

My question is this; would a company like Fairway Divorce be a good choice? Has anyone had experience with a similar company?

Please let me know,
Charles

[Zachary Shepherd]

You are not bugging anyone! In fact, you've been helpful. I've read about your letter to one of your clients, and you made her strong just like you. Everything you said there would give her strength. I got struck with the 8th paragraph where it says: "The most critical point is to wake up to the cold water of life being splashed in your face and say to yourself, "OK, I'm going to pick up the pace, clear the cobwebs out of my head, and put 100% into making this situation turn out alright."