Lawlady's Divorce Blog

Business Hall of Fame

My personal band of heroes at the moment are:  Seth Godin  (for marketing), Keith Ferrazi  (for networking),  Julie Morgenstern  (for organizing), and  Dan Pink  (for  business trends).  It's hard to find them presenting. They are not frequently scheduled to speak at events open to the public.  I wish they were. I'd like to see each one in person. 

But you are lucky if you live on the East Coast.  Seth Godin has just announced that he will be presenting in November  in New Jersey for $99.00. Here are more details about the half-day event.     I'm sure the event will be worth it.  Go if you can. 

Dan Pink has his own spectacular offer.  He is in the process of  supplementing his book A Whole New Mind and is soliciting input for examples to include in his revised edition.  If you do something wise and right-brained in your work, you might want to share your techniques with Dan for inclusion in the next issue.  His book is already in its 7th printing and there is every indication that his trajectory will continue straight up, so this is an excellent opportunity for some free PR.  He's taking new ideas through October 31st.  Check out his site for details about submitting an idea. 

(Are you enjoying my frequent usage of links?  I do believe that providing them has doubled the time of doing a blog entry!  I hope I can shorte my linkage time.  And for those of you following my tech-dilemma-- I JUST figured out how to do trackback. I had to sign up for PLUS service, to use it.) 

Getting Jacked about Getting Organized

Cleaning up and streamlining the systems of life and work increase our ability to handle greater engagements with the world and consequently galvanize unseen forces to fill the channels.  Increased capacity seems to unlock attractive energy that starts to permeate the organism or enterprise.  It invites participation from the world, at a deep and creative level. Conversely, unresolved issues and vulnerable systems will protect themselves by automatically and unconsciously stifling new input. 

From page 32, Chapter 11: The Deeper the Channel, the Greater the Flow from Ready for Anything:  52 Productivity Principles for Work and Life, by David Allen, the personal productivity guru according to Fast Company.

                                                                  ____________________ 

I break the spines of books sometimes. 

That's the moment when I really dig in and decide I want to learn something from that particular author.

Often I will buy books with the hidden agenda that I might return the book.  With those books, I don't eat while reading;  I slightly open the pages, hoping not to leave them permanently disfigured and flopped open.   With those inferior writings, I often get angry at myself the moment my greasy McDonald-fingers stain a page.  "Damn, just bought it, and I don't even like it that much."  Just got lazy with Book Buying Lesson No.  1  mentioned above.  Don't read and eat until you are ready to marry the book, so to speak.

But I know I have a keeper when I forcefully, break open the spine and start to do work to the book.  I did it just now with Chapter 11.  "Damn, that first intro quote is sublime."  I'd been resisting the temptation to line and double underline other passages. (I find when rereading new things are more interesting, and the old lines and double lines annoy me the second read through.)

That moment of cracking the spine is the equivalent to saying: "Shit, this dude knows something and I am paying attention!"

At this very moment, I am paying attention to Sir Allen (I like to think of authors as the royalty of America-- excuse me, good authors, that is.) 

If you are feeling out of control, unable to manage your obligations with calm, cool,  and collectedness, get one of his books.  I think he is on to something. 

What do you think he meant by that first paragraph I quoted above?

Let's discuss after you think for a while.  I invite comments from the four of you who read my blog.  (At this moment, I believe that consists of my employee who is paid to read and edit it, my best business friend who happens to be the blog's first and only fan, and the two unemployed lawyers who are tying to learn something from  me  about finding suitable and meaningful work.  Let's just say, the blog has a way to go in terms of readership!!  But I do appreciate the four of you who are keeping my numbers up there at the 7 visits a day rate!  -- I believe the other three hits are me.

As a complete aside to the aside, isn't someone supposed to discover my blog and link me to a site with a half-million viewers per day?  Or was that something I read in an internet fantasy novel?

Take care.

Have a splendid weekend.  Do yourself a favor and do something different.  The best way to break a routine is to see it from a new vantage point, like someplace you've never been to before, even if that is only the next street over on your weekly dog walk. Doing things differently doesn't always involved doing things hugely differently. Just differently.

In the bonds,

Stefani

Bad Credit Demerit

Shit. I'm pissed. 

I just got the credit alert from TrueCredit.  I got my first delinqent mortgage payment ding in .... what?  Ever?  7 years?  I hate to think what this will do to my credit rating. I'm meticulous about that score. 

Part of the problem is that I now own a few rental properties and have quite a few mortgage payments, all due at different times of the month. I hired a new bookkeeper this January, the same month I started getting new mortgage statements that I wasn't familar with.  I wasn't solid in my payment system and over looked that this one payment wasn't made.  The bookeeper told me she would inform me when payments were due, but... I changed mailing addresses, I didn't get the statement,  and she didn't know of this outstanding bill. $#!$#  I want to swear a bunch.  Blaim everyone. Get all pissy.

But the truth is ... the credit reporting system worked just great.  I am wobbling a bit financially as I acclimate to this new level of business overhead.  For those of you new to me or this webblog, I purchased a business property in December 2004 to house my law practice, Lawlady, Inc.  It's a beautiful older Tudor in the heart of the  Roosevelt neighborhood in Seattle.  I was always a "low overhead" kind of lawyer until I stretched into this new obligation.  The credit reporting system caught me as I tried to scale an economic hurdle to which I wasn't accustomed. I faltered a bit on this financial precipice/adventure.  Oh well.  Demerit earned.

Learning Lesson:  Treat your credit score like a personal report card.  I just got a "C". 

Do you get enough report cards in your life? I think they are important and  we don't get enough of them.  Check out your financial report card.  Order a credit score from TrueCredit.com today.  Are you getting A's in finance?

Emotional Indulgence

Last night at meditation class, a few of us were talking about the "therapy" movement in the United States.  You know the therapy movement don't you?  The movement that makes it ok to have an emotional outburst and then stay entranced in your emotional drama recalitrant to move out of your mood. 

I encountered one of these baby fits on Sunday night.   A person I was with burst into upset, and I watched as he moved into a feeling of rejection.  I offered him the  new perspective that I hadn't rejected him; that I was, in fact, offering many good things, but he preferred to move into the old and familiar place.   The evening was over.  The rejection pain was too large and he had to leave.  (I suspect he went home and spent the evening exploring his familar back yard of unloveability).   

This happens frequently with divorcing clients.  Couples will play their scripted parts, unaware that other roles are allowed and encouraged in the play of life. 

Therapy is good for deep grief work, but where my meditation group and I differ is when therapy allows people to embody their pain without pushing people forward and onward to live more healthy.  It's scary to challenge the therapy world.  "But what about all the damaged people who don't address their issues;  who need deep, inner grief work; who are legitimately paining but can't find solace; all those people who are about to kill themselves or keel over by crushing depression, anxiety or some other social disorder?"

Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Therapist, all of that is true.  And yes, your work is highly valuable and much needed in this unloving, undernourished society where we live.  But your work is not the end of the line, and too often immature, big babies get stuck in infantile worlds (like my buddy Sunday night), and refuse to process emotions and move on to bigger lives.  Allowing them an incubator from which to avoid adult responsibility for several years on end is NOT helpful. 

The goal of therapy is to grow up.  Are we growing in our pity pool of pain, or merely indulging in socially acceptable agony? 

One Year to Live

Last night in meditation I decided that I only had one year to live.

This exercise is different from the one talked about in WishCraft by Barbara Sher.  In Sher's book the assignment is to imagine that you only have one year to live.  In meditation, I decided to take things one step further and determine in advance that I would die next year at 42. What do I want to do in the interim. What will I do before I die at 42?

Here's what I decided:

• I want to spend the year exploring all the best things about being alive in a body. 
• I want to take a figure drawing class to learn about the muscles.
• Exercise and work out alot.
• Go to massage school in September.
• Garden, spend time with flowers and go hiking.

I was surprised that I didn't say, "Fall in love, be closer to family and friends."  Isn't that what everyone says once they are diagnosed with cancer and their life priorities get straight.

I'm curious world.  What will you do knowing you have one year to live?  Could you live that bravely?

I already made some big leap of faith a few days ago about living life on the edge.  All these years, I've always focused on prudent choices out of some sense of duty to my aged self.   At 25, I was making career choices so as not to offend my 35, 40 year old selves.  I was hard-working and putting away funds into my IRA so my 59 year old me could look forward to vacationing. 

Then, blingggg..... telephone call from 70-year-old-me to 42-year-old-me.   She  was a feisty, crusty,  old-salt of a 70-year old.  She didn't sound like she had good dental.  "Don't give a crap about me.  I can work at McDonalds if I have too. I'd rather you have a good time than worry about me.  Live.  God, living at 70 is nothing compared to living in your early 40's."