I did a strange thing this weekend. I bought myself a moleskin journal and then wrote out a life plan for me from now until age 93- at which age I decided I would die a peaceful and natural death. Odd huh?
I got the idea from a friend who is planning a "Come as you Plan to Be in 2008" party. She got the idea from the book The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. " Evidently, as Mr. Canfield writes, it can be extremely motivating to attend a party outfitted with the indicia of success you plan to achieve down the road. Imagine little boy acting out the Academy Award acceptance speech 100 times in his youth. You make the likelihood of it occuring stronger by preparing and playing out your future life role.
Well, that's why I bought the moleskin. I planned to write out my five year life plan. What I didn't expect is that I would keep going. I hit the five year mark, and life was seeming so joyful and successful, I didn't want to stop. I took myself out to 93. What I wasn't expecting is that the writing would take off. By 50 my life was a mini docu-drama. Clearly a creative urge had taken over. But an important bi-product of this four hour exercise was that I could see clearly how a person can get oneself into life jams. We head out in one direction and then keep going. At some point, we hit a snow back and only then begin to ask the question: How did I get to this ill-feeling present condition?
I highly suggest you try this exercise. Start out where you are now and write what you can logically and actually accomplish in 2006, then do the same for 2007, building on the choices you've already committed to. My guess is that you you might come to the point- like I did- of hard choices where you can't have it all.
Writing can be a devilish activity leading us to hidden urges we don't recognize in ourselves. I found myself getting pregnant at 48, forced to step off my role as Advisor to the US president. I understand that these life events might sound a bit far fetched. But the exercise had the ability to lure me to think large about my life. We're always going to achieve less than we set out to achieve, so why aim for something insignificant? Let the cat out of the bag about what really excites you, and see where your natural next steps lead you, without having to live a lifetime to see how your choices might play out.
I think this is an excellent activity for divorcing couples. Where do your natural next steps lead you next? And where you do wish to go and do in your life? It's your life to spend, where will you spend it?
Please do the exercise and report back. I'd like to hear about your experience with this method of life planning and goal setting. It was not what I expected and I'd like to compare notes.
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