Sorority Gal at a Southern Firm in the 80's

Below is an article I wrote for the blog, Ms. JD.   It's personal and serious, so if you prefer more legally-neutral content, you can skip this blog entry. 

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I just discovered your site. It's great. Maybe someday I could be one of your featured bloggers. 

I've been practicing for 18 years now. Early in my career,I worked at a medium sized firm where we got drunk at Friday night happy hours, hot-tubbed with partners at the annual firm retreat, and were put into a "co-ed singles condo" when attending mandatory out-of-town CLEs. My section's head partner informed me the firm would likely fire an unwed pregnant lawyer because of the negative impact on the firm's reputation. I was given a GI Joe as a birthday gift by one of my two direct-report partners.

They told me I didn't have a long term future with the firm at my three-year mark with the firm, unless I showed real effort and brought my 2200-hour pace up to 2300. I was barely making the minimum required hours and not showing that extra "oomph." This speech was given to me by my other direct-report partner. The one who also commented to me, "I trust you so much more, now that I know you are a real woman," as I laid in his arms cuddled up at the aforementioned "co-ed singles condo" at the mandatory CLE. Evidently, kissing him again (he forgot our kisses that summer I clerked for the firm) showed him something important about my character he wasn't noticing from my work performance during the week.

Did I mention the 21-buff-guy photos cut out and taped in hidden places around my office for me to find, a variation of the Easter-egg hunt? Was it a full man, or just the penis, attached to the mouth part of my phone? The truth is I genuinely laughed that day. I thought it was funny. Only now do I realize I would have been better served by having those men -in their 30s and 40s- model appropriate treatment of woman. I came from a background with questionable lessons about correct male/female interactions and would have benefited from being around sexually-neutral men. Was I laughed at, not with, those first years of my career?

I didn't sue them. In fact, I was young and thought most of the sexy, naughty stuff at the firm was fun. I was fresh out of the sorority, so drinking and getting loose seemed natural and grown up. But it continued with other woman as well. There was my associate friend who had her knees bitten under the table by the managing partner as he pretended to be a dog at the Mexican restaurant. She kicked him. I guess the margaritas got to him.

This occurred in the south. When I moved back to Seattle, I found the environment more tame, or perhaps I just worked at a staid firm. I've heard it existed here as well.

Things are different now with my work. I have an all woman firm (by accident, not by intention). The energy feels clean, healthy and supportive. But I will admit that the sex-stuff crops up. One employee brought a "sex-strology" book to work to share. Periodically I find myself saying, "hostile work environment-stop the discussion" as someone launches into a raunchy story about the weekend. Sexuality is part of human nature. The trick is to cordon off that energy from the work place. It's a slippery incline. Where does talking about wedding plans deviate into inappropriate talk about the honey-moon?

I've tried to tell this story about the early harrassment once before- to a classroom of law students- when I was invited to speak at solo-career day. Curiously, I was not asked back to speak. Maybe I was considered "off topic."

Thank you for listening. It's hard to want to speak, and then not find the right audience who can appreciate the humor and poignancy of the story. I hope to convey it wasn't 100% awful and that's the irony of it all.

Comments

[Jill Pugh]

What a great post! Honestly, it could be the stuff of a whole lecture, or a much longer article.

I was just telling someone that in the not so distant past a friend of mine (in another city) in the district attorney's office missed out on the routine "welcome to the office" ritual for brand new assistant D.A.'s: making the round of the city's strip clubs. Not to mention on another list serve of women attorneys we were discussing some of these very similar issues. Certainly the professional world has improved, but not as much as we'd like to think.

Thanks for adding to the conversation!

[Mark Vane]

Hi, Found a cool news widget for our blogs at http://www.widgetmate.com/news . Now I can show the latest news on my blog. Worked like a breeze.

[Melanie Stephan]

This could be off topic but this is an important message. Please read and pass it along. I have a message to tell you about
Revelation. The message is from God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost respectively sent in the Spring of 2006. It is about the meaning of First is Last and Last is First . The message is this: In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die, death.
What does this mean? In other words this means Birth is Last and Last is Birth. To understand this don't think from point A to point B. Think of this as a continous circle of life. Birth, Life, Death, Birth. God also said that Judgment will be before Birth in Heaven. As birth on Earth is painful so will birth in Heaven. It is possible that this message was delivered by one of God's Angels. Yes, God has recently made contact and he sent a messenger. Spread this message along, just like a chain letter. Tell two people. OH, one more thing of interest. Did you know that Mike Douglas died on his birthday. Melanie Stephan

[Melanie Stephan]

This is off topic too. Jesus also told this person 'Who Killed JFK?' The person who killed John F. Kennedy in Dallas, Texas, 1963 was a policeman. He was hiding behind a tree on the same side of the road as the president. The letters in his name are F. Ritter. This is all the information that was given. This information came from above. Melanie Stephan

[Andy James]

Hey buddy! Interesting post... I just landed on your blog courtesy google. I was thinking.. you could try to put up some current news and happenings. Will make ur blog more interesting.There are many news scrollers. I know of one on http://www.widgetmate.com

[fifilaroach]

Every job I've ever had has had a significant component of sexual harassment, and has also had female management. I don't know what in the heck will ever eliminate this issue, but I'm very ready. Women who participate cause a problem with this, too. It's not only the men.

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[Divorce Study Team]

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[Unusianug]

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