The Top Reasons for Divorce-- From a Lawyer's Perspective

I promised some information on do-it-yourself law degrees in Washington.  It isn't going to happen tonight.  The day was too crazy. 

We had an employee birthday party and I was running so far behind, I came after soup and salad was served, and left before the birthday gal opened her cards.  I never finished my cake.  In fact, I never finished my soup!

I love this time of year.  The bride-movement starts about now for all the engagements created in December.  For newly engaged people, the press is on to complete the planning for summer weddings. 

I like to counter divorce work with prenuptial work.  Sometimes I think that the best service I can do as a divorce attorney is to share the message of why people divorce.  I know that therapists write books and explain the psychological reasoning.   Divorce attorneys aren't as knowledgeable, may not have the fancy language, but we do have a perspective that seems sensible and clear. 

People divorce for these types of reasons:

• They don't agree on finances, never talked about it before marriage, and never solved the manner of handling money after marriage. 
• They got themselves into an uncomfortable financial situation in the process of being married.
• They stopped talking.  Then they stopped having sex.
• He or she started having sex with someone else.
• Someone became gay after the fact.  (Solution?  Try the other sex in advance?)
• Kids/work/odd hobbies.  No time for being married.
• TV, drugs or alcohol.
• No exercise.
• The slow demise into slothful living signifying depression without treatment.  Or, no treatment for other noticeable mental health issues, despite their spouses insistence therapy is needed.
• Basic lack of understanding that marriage is tough and  sometimes the situation isn't fun or enjoyable.
• Failure to re-enlist for another tour of duty each time the couple is called upon to go deeper and take their relationship to the next level of intimacy and love.  Especially at the three and seven year marks. 

Those are the top reasons I see in my profession for failed marriages.  Did I forget any?

Comments

[steven davies]

I don't have any problems with my marriage and I am glad for that,but if I have any(like divorce) I know what to do.
Thank you for the post.
It was interesting for me to read this.

[Kendall]

Well, no, I don't think you forgot any, but...there are a lot of really stupid reasons, like not being able to stand the other's idio--idiocra--weird things that they do. I hope my parents never get divorced. They've been together for 14 years, about as long as I've been alive.

[Ross]

After spending some time trying to think of other reasons, I realised they all pretty much fit under one of the points you've already mentioned!

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I was wondering if anyone could please tell me any experiences they've had with divorce?
How stressful is a divorce for both parties?
What is involved? and how do you help a friend who is just beginning the divorce proccess???