Up Against Life

I'm on writer's week. It started officially yesterday morning, but I couldn't get out of the office in time.  I spent the day decluttering my desk.  Tonight came the bomb that the Fireman's father's health has deteriorated and it looks like the cancer will be downhill from here.  He doesn't want to talk about it (meaning the Fireman).  His dad's dying and he wanted to organize and pay his bills instead. 

If you live long enough with someone you are going to travel through new and foreign experiences with that person.  You'll both be new people and likely won't have the typical sign posts to let you know how to navigate this passing.  You have to learn what the other person needs from you now. It's different than what was needed before.

It reminds me of a difficult collaborative case I'm working on this week.  We are to the phase where I am convinced -as one of the attorneys-  I no longer have any tools left to ofter the clients.  I've run out or cures and options.  From here on out, the clients are flying the divorce plane solo. Whether they crash and burn in litigation hell rests entirely upon them. The lawyers can't save them from themselves. 

This is just about the time that the collaborative magic happens.  It's the nasty point of negotiation deadlock.  Nobody is moving forward on this bus until someone makes a concession to get the bus back into motion.  The next week will be waiting for someone or something to give.  It's an awkward time.   Uncomfortable for all of us involved.  Waiting for the solution:  how to act next?   If this collaborative case goes like other successful collaborative cases, the clients themselves will come up with a solution that will work. If they don't, they may be opting to spend their children's college fund money to get divorced.  $20K is what they've saved for their son's college, and that's about the cost of their litigation bill if this process fails.  They are up against it. 

So are the Fireman and I.  We all have to come to a new way of being.